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by Angelica Chapter 2 : Ending The Beginning. ****************************************** ‘Deprive a man of his life lie and you rob him
of his happiness’. Ibsen. ****************************************** I
can feel my own vocal cords trembling from my silent scream. Praying
for a miracle as I watch the love of my life struggle for her life. The small
black shoes dangle on her slender feet as if they are trying to escape
themselves. Small
red rivers cover my fingers as my fingernails dig themselves deeper and deeper
within my flesh. I welcome the pain, anything to burn the image before me from
my eyes Cursing
my human body I attack the abomination. I am lesser then a fly to him, yet I
keep attacking and killing myself. Burning
tears fight their way onto my cheeks. It burns inside my heart to see the small
shoe lie on the ground all alone in this cruel world, remaining as the only
evidence she ever existed. My angel is dead. No not dead, absorbed, disappeared
into thin air. The
horrible machine did not even posses the mercy to end it. He just kept laughing
at me. If he just finishes me of then I wont have to feel this. How can this
be? I never even talked to her.
Still I seem to have gone of the deep
end. My
knees start to give in. It happens so slow. The ground comes up to meet me.
With a soft thud I hit the deepest bottom I’ve ever known. I truthfully wish to
die. My trail of thoughts start to conflict once again. A sad smile graces my
face when I realize life means nothing without her. The Irony isn’t lost on me.
My life means nothing without the woman who’s created for death. I
remember it now. Once I heard a beautiful song that said so much to me but I
didn’t understand. The time has passed and realization found my soul. It’s only
when I lost myself in her, that I found myself. Yes its gone, I lost myself. My
heart makes my body still punch and kick, in my mind I already realize it’s the
end. I
swear I can already smell it, I wont acknowledge it but its here waiting,
watching luring me in. Something keeps me fighting to live, yesterday I could
only think of one reason for existing now another new world of thoughts seem to
have taken me in. Kick,
punch….NO…I am at full strength…It only took a small power up to beat that whiney
Prince to a bloody pulp. Something wet rolls down my cheek…I can’t even faze
this monster. It’s a monster…but…but it’s made by the same man…..that makes me
one to…..does it?.. then why does it make me feel so bad ?. To
know that I’ll never be able to actually learn more about the bald one makes my
eyes become all watery. ? He gives me such a strange feeling. Digging in my
mind I finally find the word to describe it. Human. The
horrendous being obviously doesn’t want damaged goods since he still hasn’t punched
my lights out. Brother ? …… as out of nowhere a pair of black eyes so different
yet so similar to my own stare back at me. He beckons me, Yes it’s safe…maybe I
should join him. My ears pick up rush of whispers, I discard them quickly since
they are just lies. He is my brother.. Slowly I start to walk towards him. Give
up…..NEVER. It’s just an illusion.. He really is dead….My brother is dead….just
disappeared into thin air. With an angered howl I jump back and try to put some
distance between me and it. My
voice threatens and swears to set my own destruction in motion. Suddenly an
enormous wave of pain rolls over me. Hot…..its
so goddamned hot. What’s happening to me ? …….. My feet trash wildly about but I
cant remember doing it. Ending….. My body shudders and shocks as my internal
wiring starts to melt and short out. The strange wetness cant even leave my
eyes. My head starts to spin. A bright
flash. I lost myself. |